I'm not calling any of them Mom, I'll tell you that.
- What is the new one's name again? - I believe that is Marlene.
There's a Linda, but I don't think that's her.
- That's Dorothy. - Well, who knew.
Hi there.
Aunt Eileen.
- You look wonderful. - Thank you, dear.
You look fine too, considering.
We never liked Kevin. We couldn't say anything, but we knew.
- That's so sweet. - I hear you're not seeing anyone.
Is that wise? With the clock ticking? Because I have someone special for you.
Casey Donovan. Handsome, smart, single.
- Aunt Eileen. - Yes?
He's my first cousin.
This is a fine day for the Nolan family, I tell you.
For my son, Bill Jr.
And young Ryan here, the confirmation boy.
And old Bill here.
I'd like to do a poem, if I may.
To commemorate the occasion.
Who do you think he'll go with?
- Tennyson. - Browning.
- Yeats. - "Brown Penny. "
By William Butler Yeats.
Who knows her daddy?
I whispered, "I am too young"
And then, "I am old enough"
Wherefore I threw a penny To find out if I might love.
"Go and love, go and love, young man, If the lady be young and fair. "
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it
For he would be thinking of love Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny
One cannot begin it too soon.
- So good to see you, Aunt Eileen. - It's always a pleasure.
- Mother Teresa! - Mother Teresa. No. Stop. Michael!
It's okay. I don't mind.
- She doesn't mind. - That's not the point.
She actually likes dogs. And me. She just forgets.
- Bye. - Sarah. Darling.
Some pressing business has come up...
...and I was hoping you'd ferry Dolly home for me.
- Okay. Sure, Dad. - I don't mind staying.
You're a sweetheart. Both of you.
So, what do you think of my competition?
I don't really wanna discuss my father's...
Oh, it's okay. It's okay. I know. A woman always knows.
Not always.
- Your guy go younger? - Yeah.
They always go younger, don't they?
It does seem to trend that way, doesn't it?
When they're 80, they want 60. When they're 60, they want 40.
When they're 80, they want 40. And they get it.
Goddamn supply and demand.
We ought to kill the guy who thought that one up.
- So you didn't see it coming, huh? - No, I thought we were happy.
Maybe not "happy" happy, but, you know, satisfied.
I thought we were happy three times.
Got a live one.
You gotta come take a look at this.
I love this Internet. It's part fantasy, part community.
And you get to pay your bills naked.
They don't stress that enough as a selling point.
It's Jeremy in San Diego.
He thinks I'm 16. He inverted the numbers in my age.
- I didn't have the heart to tell him. - That would've been cruel.
He comes to me for advice. He thinks I'm very mature.
We're pinned.
- You're on this, aren't you? - PerfectMatch. com.
- What, just one site? - Yeah.
Honey, you gotta put more bets on the table.
I'm on at least 10. You get to try out different personalities.
Like here. I say:
"I'm into opera, antiques, poetry in the original Greek. "
And on this one:
"I like to skydive, ride motorcycles and enjoy rodeo. "
But you don't do any of those things.
It's an ad. It's like those cars that say they get 30 miles to the gallon.
I mean, who knows.
You just want someone to take you out for a test drive.
I'm not comfortable advertising myself this way.
Honey, when you get to be my age and approaching your expiration date...
...it pays to advertise. This baby never sleeps.
It's working for me 24 hours a day, God bless its little Pentium-chip heart.
So tell me about your ex.
Kevin. He's a fireman.
And cute. Very, very cute.
I have the calendars.
We met when I was dating all my brothers' friends.
My first two husbands were friends of my brother Dave.
Both of them bastards. But then, so was my brother Dave.
Things seemed to be going according to plan with me and Kevin.
We had our work, we got a house, then it was time to have kids.
But he was never ready.
I was 34. Then 35, then 36.
Then instead of children, Kevin decided to have Veronica. Ronnie.
Chatty as hell and 15 years younger.
They got married two months ago.
Did I mention that she's pregnant?
Go get it.
Hey.
- What are you doing in the real world? - Dogsitting. My brother and his wife...
...are at marriage counseling. They don't want her to know they're having trouble.
You're a dog guy.
You kidding me? I'm half Labrador. Throw that ball. See who gets it.
- I found him. I found the one I want! - Austin.
- I found my puppy! - You did?
- I'm getting a puppy! - You are? That's amazing!
- It's so exciting! - I'm so happy for you.
- Let's go get him! - We'll be right behind you, bubba.
- Thought it'd be good for him. - Great idea. Yeah.
I was gonna ask you if you thought he was too young.
- But it's a good age, right? - I think so. Yes.
- A boy needs a dog, right? - Absolutely.
Who else is gonna eat his vegetables for him?
I can't tell you what it means to me that Austin's so happy in school.
He's just lucky to have you in his life.
We both are.
I found him, Dad. I found my puppy. Come on in, he wants to kiss you!
Oh, I think you're gonna need a bigger trailer.
- Hello? - So I know our dates aren't beginning...
...or ending well, but I find the middle intriguing.
- Well, it's not dull, is it? - That's a good thing, right?
So, what do you say? You want to get together?
You really want to give it one more shot with me? Why?
Are you kidding me? You're this whole new style, this whole new system.
Vivid grammar of eroticism.
A completely unique constellation of attributes. My Halley's comet.
Do you write this stuff down?
No, that actually came out of my head.
Sometimes I use notes.
Hold on. Someone's at the door.
- Dolly, what a surprise. - I'm in trouble, Sarah. I need help.
Hello? Sarah, is everything okay? Sarah.
She can't talk now. It's an emergency.
It's Jeremy from San Diego. He's here.
- I don't see why this is a problem. - Well, for one thing, you are 17, and she's...
- Forty-one. - Yeah, but those are just numbers.
Look at Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz.
She's gotta be what, 100?
Oh, come on, Jeremy, be nice. She's probably the same age as me.
Some people go their whole lives looking for their soul mate.
And I found mine when I was 15. Sue me.
Fifteen? You said you were 17.
- Dude, it is so not cool to lie to me. - I'm sorry.
I didn't think you'd take me seriously if you thought I was a kid.
Of course I take you seriously.
You're a wonderful boy, honey. And we can always be friends.
But just friends. You know that.
- Okay. - And there's something else.
I'm not really 41.
I'm 43.
Do your homework.
I couldn't bring myself to go over 50. It wouldn't have been fair to him.
- Good night. - Night.
- Thank you, Sarah. - Anytime.
Sarah. Hi.
I was in the trailer-hood. I thought I might stop by.
Oh, good.
Sarah? Is that you?
- Sarah! Hi! - June?
- I didn't know you were... - No. This is good. We're all here.
We can have a conference.
Oh, I'll just go home now and go to bed and maybe stay there forever.
Sarah has a friend who lives practically next door.
That's cool. I love weird, huge coincidences.
- Yeah. - Sure you don't want to come in?
We opened a bottle of wine.
Oh, I think I'd rather die, but thank you. Yeah.
- Hi. - Hey. Jennifer kicked us out.
- Both of us. - Oh, Mikey.
God, I'm so sorry.
- She'll come around. - I told him it's the holidays.
People are under a lot of stress.
I love this guy. I do. I love him.
- I love him. - We've been talking.
We've been here a while.
- You all right? - Yeah.
- Let's go. - Come on, Mother Teresa.
- I hope it's okay that I stopped by. - Oh, yes. Of course it is.
I'm so glad you did.
We were talking on the phone, everything was going well...
...and then some strange woman said "emergency" and hung up.
I called and no one answered, so I was a little worried.
- I think it's very sweet, Jake. - It's just a false alarm?
- Definitely a false alarm. - Good.
No, my father's friend, she got into a little bit of trouble...
...and I had to help her out, and so I went over there for a while.
And after that I just drove around a while.
Alone. I was alone. And...
- Yeah, alone by yourself, sure. - Yeah.
Well, anyway, the reason I stopped by...
...was I wanted to invite you out on my boat.
- I don't think that's such a good idea. - Yes, it is.
No, because I...
Boats are still on the water, right?
I hope so, otherwise I wasted a lot of time designing the hull.
Yeah, actually, they're aquatic.
- Well, I don't even know how to row. - I'll teach you.
- I'd love to teach you how to row. - Okay. How?
A challenge.
- We'll have a lesson right now. Okay? - Okay.
So the thing about rowing is just you gotta relax, first of all.
And then it's all about rhythm, balance...
- Rhythm and balance. ... and timing.
- Watch those oars, pal. - Okay.
- And rhythm and timing, see? - Balance and rhythm.
- See, it's not that bad, is it? - No, I like rowing.
Then you want to make sure you get, you know, your hair out of the way.
That's gotta hurt.
- Michael? - You okay, pal?
Oh, no. Don't stop what you're doing. I was on my way out.
Easy there, Tex.
- Where are you going? - Oh, I just spoke to Jennifer.
Everything's great. I got the couch, the dog's gonna stay.
You should stay here too. You shouldn't be driving.
- I'll drive him home. Okay? - Yeah.
I thought we were gonna, you know, row the boat.
We will. Just stay exactly here and stay exactly you...
...and I'll be back in about 15 to 20 seconds depending on traffic.
Just hold that thought. Where do you live?
Of course you realize when Jake gets here, you'll have to excuse yourself.
Bob! Bobby. No, Bob.
- You dropped these on my driveway. - Oh, thank you.
I'm really sorry. I'm sure that seemed pretty awkward, huh?
No, no. Routine, really.
There's nothing going on there with me and June.
They were late from the museum, and I made her stay for dinner.
Well, thank you for bringing these...
- You're back. - Yeah, he... He passed out.
He couldn't tell me where he lived.
- 321 something. - Yeah, that was all I got.
- I'm Bob, by the way. - Oh, my manners have completely left me.
- I'm so sorry. Jake Anderson. - How you doing?
- My brother Michael. - Oh, sorry. Here you go.
Pleasure to meet you.
This is Bob Connor, parent at the school.
We were just... What were we?
Sarah left stuff at my place tonight, thought it'd be better to get it back.
I'll get out of the way.
- Talk to you tomorrow, Sarah. Okay? - Okay.
- Nice to meet you guys. - Pleasure.
Hey, I better get going. Where do you want me to put him?
- Maybe I'll put him here. - No, you don't...
We're sitting down now, buddy.
Yeah, I...
- I better get going. - You don't have to go. You could stay. Sit.
No, no, no. Really, I should go.
Jake. Jake, please let me explain.
- You don't have to. - I want to.
I don't have any claim on you.
We've seen each other what, four times now? I realize that.
You won't let me explain?
Let me do it. You were lying because you didn't want to hurt my feelings. I get it.
If dogs are to prove their worth as rescuers...
... they must overcome their fears. Again, Mass goes first.
She's accustomed to the deafening noise and turbulent winds of the helicopter.
She's made these jumps dozens of times before.
But the big question is, how will the rookies perform?
You could do this. You could.
They hesitate at the open door.
Hey, I'm gonna head out.
- You forgot to take your headdress off. - No, I didn't. Any plans for the holiday?
Dad's house, a thousand relatives. How about you?
- Eric's parents are back in town. - Now they're starting to piss me off.
- Oh, honey, if you need to cry, call me. - Got you on speed dial.
Are we okay?
Sure. Why wouldn't we be?
I had no idea you and Bobby were...
Oh, we're nothing, June. Me and Bobby.
Well, we're not either. Me and him.
But he is one hot dad, though. I so don't blame you for being interested.
"Interested" may be pushing it.
Well, I'm not in that picture. I just want you to know.
I love Thanksgiving. I'm so glad I'm not cooking.
Watch your back.
Now, before we tackle this succulent-looking bird...
...we have some honored guests with us today.
Marlene Swift. Dorothy Murphy.
And Dolly McCann.
Hello, Dolly.
- Hi. - Hey.
All three at the same table.
The man has balls of steel.
We're very proud.
This was a great idea. It's the perfect place to spend Thanksgiving.
- I'm just sorry my parents aren't here. - Next year.
You're not afraid that'd be too sentimental?
No. It's old family tradition.
- They have a great Sunday brunch here too. - Did I tell you she was a teacher?
Preschool. Works with kids.
- Tiny, tiny little kids. You want kids? - Oh, yeah. I love kids.
Want that white picket fence, the whole deal.
She might've been the one. She's good. She was interesting.
I caught a glimpse. Something.
You gotta stop obsessing about the dog-park girl, Jake.
- I know. - Move on.
I will.
This time you got written out of Act 1. Women are devious.
Self-serving, shallow.
Not you, dear.
Okay. If Casey Donovan's no good...
"If"? What do you mean, "if"? His mother and my mother were sisters.
- Ron Detmer? - He's my optometrist.
He's expecting your call.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Sarah, great news. I didn't want to get your hopes up.
But two guys in my office just got divorced.
- So much to be thankful for. - Start with Richie.
If that doesn't work, go with Jerry.
- Richie first. Got it. - Yeah, definitely go with Richie.
Better watch yourself. With those girls, cleaning is a contact sport.
He's worth it, you know, your dad. Despite all his shenanigans.
Besides, I'm having as much fun as he is.
Why don't I believe you?
Look, you care about someone, they're in a lot of pain, you cut them some slack.
I just thank God he doesn't have a bigger table.
Hello.
One raised eyebrow. Never a good sign.
How do you remember all their names, Dad?
Let alone birthdays and religious affiliations?
- I have it all on a disk. That way... - I really don't want to know.
You're in different leagues, Dad. You and Dolly.
I think she's starting to fall for you.
- Well, I'm sorry if... - No, you're not.
Because being a man today means never having to say you're sorry.
I resent how easy this all is for you.
You've got women coming and going, cooking, cleaning.
They're probably tuning up your car for all I know.
All that matters to you guys is the tushies are tight and the bellies are flat.
Meanwhile, caring, interesting, compassionate women...
...of a certain age sit home alone...
...reading Jane Austen, eating ice cream, which makes them less likely to find...
Are we still talking about me? Because I can't tell anymore.
No, I'm sorry, Dad. I can't either.
It's all right.
I just don't want to see Dolly get hurt.
I don't either.
But it's different for me.
I've had the love of my life.
And no one else could ever touch that.
No one can come close.
So I'm just out there...
...passing the time.
Tap-dancing, if you want the truth.
Maybe if I dance fast enough...
...I won't remember what I've lost.
You see?
I'll be right there.
Hi, can I..?
Look who's here. It's you.
Yes, your worst nightmare.
- The single-chicken-breast lady. - You wanna at least hear the specials?
I'm supposed to tell them to you, that's all.
Just the chicken breast.
It's rough out there, huh? You wanna talk about it?
You know, you're not a bartender.
Have you tried the Internet? I mean, it really works.
- You know, I met my wife online, and she... - Chicken. Now.
Why not?
And I've been to Italy a lot too. I just got back from Rome...
...where I took this fabulous in-depth tour called "As the Romans Do. "
- The guide was incredible. - I took that tour. Big fat guy, right?
Before that, Switzerland. I got caught in a storm.
- I almost died in a blizzard once. - I lived up in the Alps for a year.
They had to cut me out of the snow with scissors.
My aunt had a farm. In the morning, we'd warm ourselves with the coals of the fire.
I learned to make goat cheese. It was very Heidi.
Well, I just think it's wonderful how much you care about your children, Peter. Really.
It's not always the case. I'm a teacher, I know.
Well, it's just my daughter. She's 14.
But she's everything to me.
- Were you surprised that I called? - Little bit.
But happy.
Well, I figured what the hell.
It's time to take control of my life. New Sarah.
- I liked the old Sarah, you know. - New and improved.
- Good morning. - Hi.
Hi.
- What time is it? - It's a little after 9.
Damn.
Do you mind if we take that and go? I don't wanna run into traffic.
- Oh, it's Sunday. - Yeah, I got a game today.
- You gonna eat that? - No. Here.
Thank you.
You did sleep with June, didn't you?
Does it matter? Really?
It's just that you told me nothing happened.
I knew we'd be great together, I didn't want anything to get in the way of that.
And we were.
Yeah.
That was fun. Thanks a lot. I'll call you.
- You mad at me? - No, I'm not mad at you.
- Good, I was afraid something had... - I'm mad at myself for trusting you.
For not listening to that voice that said:
"He is a shallow, self-centered bastard. " Which is what you are, you stupidhead!
Maybe I have been teaching preschool too long, but you took advantage of me.
You knew how vulnerable I was. I was the weak impala of the herd.
And you pounced on that with that whole sensitive dad-of-the-year act.
And, "We're adopting a puppy. "
And the fake professor thing with these fake glasses.
These aren't even real, are they?
Sorry.
I just hate guys like you. I hate guys like you!
But this is a good look for you, Sarah.
You've gone beyond pajamas and are now wearing the bed.
Oh, God. I just went after the wrong guy again. Like always.
I slept with a man who's not my husband.
I'm promiscuous.
We should redo your profile and put that in it.
Oh, God. I'm a complete and total love failure.
- Oh, no. - Stop it, it's not that funny.
Stop laughing.
What about that cute guy I met? Condom man.
- Yes, that's how he likes to be known. - Condom man?
- Sounds like a superhero. - I can't.
He hates me. And I don't blame him.
No, I had my chance with him, and I blew it.
Let's go watch Beaches.
Oh, my God.
When they remake this, they gotta add a happy ending and nudity.
They won't remake it. Nobody wants to watch this kind of yearning nowadays.
It's too painful.
- Modern man can't take it. - This has gotta end.
There's a world beyond Zhivago- land.
Forget about the dog-park girl and live again.
You think your friend still wants to buy my boat?
Let him chop it up, stick it on his wall.
- Call him. - Seriously?
Tell him to come by the boat basin this weekend. I'll row it down myself.
And call some of those insane, pansexual girls you're so fond of.
I want a date every day until Christmas.
- Where have you been all my life? - Waiting for you.
You are absolutely perfect. You know that, don't you?
I do. But it's still nice to hear.
Hello, hello. Hi.
Look at you, cute jammies.
Already in them, a little early for that. Come on, have a seat.
Eric, come on.
All right. Now...
...Eric and I are here to cheer you up, and we have many options.
I'm ready.
First, there's line dancing at the Grove. Very Southwest, mid-'80s.
- Too gay. - Or...
...we can use these teacher gift certificates...
...for midnight manicures. - Perfect. Can we do that?
- That's not too gay? - No.
He keeps the mystery alive, doesn't he?
What color?
White. Caucasian.
What color nail? After wax.
- I don't know. What do you think? - Your nail, not mine.
The light pink one. Yeah.
Not much love life, huh?
Not getting younger.
Did you hear that?
What is that? Why do I always get the surly manicurist?
I don't know. Does a good job, right?
Oh, my God.
I'll be right back.
Jake!
- Jake! - Sarah.
- Jake! Hi. - Hi.
This is so weird, because I've been thinking about you so much.
Nice to see you. Oh, you're all... You look like...
I keep thinking about you.
What do they call those? Pot sticker, with the potholders.
Hi. I'm ready, Jake. Sorry I took so long.
Hi. I'm Sherry.
- Hi. - This is Sarah.
- We just saw Doctor Zhivago at the Grand. - Yeah.
- Doctor Zhivago. - It's Jake's favorite movie.
- I didn't get it. - Oh, I've seen it like 20 times.
- Really? - Really?
- Yeah. - Why? It's so depressing.
Everybody's freezing their asses off.
- They're Communists, right? - Yeah.
I guess I keep hoping that one time, Lara and Yuri will get together again.
In the springtime, preferably. And wear shorts.
Okay, but they can't, because it's just a movie.
- It's a book too. - Yeah, that's cruel.
Yeah.
Anyway...
Thanks for bringing that up.
Okay, I have to go get de-waxed.
Sarah, it was really nice seeing you again.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
Not again.
Yes. Thank...
Yeah. Bye.
- Do you want to be Russians tonight? - Let's go.
Well, Sherry, I think I'm gonna say good night.
- You're not coming in? - No, I'm kind of tired.
- I'm gonna go home. - Aren't we gonna do the Russian thing?
That's Russian for "no. "
- Was it something that I did..? - No, no, no. I'm just really tired.
- Tired. Yeah, it was a long movie. - Really long.
Bye.
It seemed like it was gonna be so perfect.
You chase him down the street, he turns, he sees you...
...he takes you in his arms, fireworks explode.
It's happily ever after.
You're leaving out the part where he was with another woman.
I say you call him.
Or better yet, go over there, break into his house, throw yourself at him...
...make a complete fool of yourself. It worked for me.
- It was very effective. - No, he's with someone else.
I have to face it, it's just not gonna work out with us.
And you'd really like it to, wouldn't you?
I can't take this. This is breaking my heart.
Mine too. But let's look on the bright side.
- Your nails look fabulous. - They do.
They look so good. Let me see those.
- Look at these hands. - Thank you, guys.
Turn around, this is your favorite part.
She's wearing that hat you like.
That's my side, thank you very much.
Mother Teresa.
I love you too.
You like her?
- She's a handsome boat. - Yeah.
Reminds one of the longboats they would run...
...out of the sweet harbor at Bantry Bay.
Actually, I designed this one based on a Portuguese boat.
But historically, you're correct, yeah.
- You built this boat yourself? - Yes, sir.
- You build boats? - No, no.
Truth be told, I don't know the first thing about them.
- But I do appreciate a work of art. - Well, thank you, sir.
I'm about to sell this work of art to a guy who's gonna cut it in half...
...and stick it on his wall. - Oh, no.
Yeah. I'm about to take her out for a last paddle before I meet the butcher at noon.
Why would you do a thing like that?
It's a long story. Something about the violation of expectations...
...and a crushing loss of faith in love and life and art.
- So it's a girl. - Yes.
I've had a little girl trouble myself lately.
But better to have loved and lost. Am I right?
She was a unique constellation of attributes.
She was my Halley's comet.
But... Universe is designed to break your heart, yes?
A philosopher as well as an artist. Yes, it's we who suffer most.
Yes. With the possible exception being the victims of violent crime.
- Well, it's been a pleasure to meet you, sir. - No, no, pleasure's all mine. Jake.
- Bill. I have a daughter who would... - No, no.
Never mind. No, no. Sorry.
Well, this is a surprise.
Can't a father pay a visit to his daughter on a beautiful Sunday morning?
Carol called you, didn't she? She's afraid I'm getting into my pajamas again.
Actually, Carol called Christine, Christine called Michael...
...Michael called me. - Any word from Aunt Eileen?
She said to tell you that Casey Donovan was adopted.
If that helps.
Well, at this point, he's starting to look awfully good.
He's out there, Sarah.
Someone who would appreciate all you have to offer.
After all, you're this unique constellation of attributes.
- You're Halley's comet... - What did you just say?
It's a nice turn of phrase, but it's not my own.
I heard it from a young man I met this morning.
Builds beautiful Irish boats.
Poor lad. Had his heart broken by a woman he deeply cared about.
Deeply.
- Jake. Jake! - Hello there.
Hi. Hi, I'm looking for Jake. Jake Anderson. Is he here?
- No, he isn't. But lucky for us, I am. - I don't have time for this.
- Do you know where he is? - You're "must love dogs," aren't you?
You've already crushed him, he's been moping for weeks.
He's even given up the whole wooden-boat thing.
- You've done enough. - That's all wrong.
I have to talk to him. Where is he?
- I can't tell you that. - Where is he?
I'm not telling you.
You know the bridge by the boat ramp?
Jake?
Jake.
Jake!
- I'd like to rent a boat, please. - I'm sorry, we're all out of boats.
- All right, come on. - Oh, a love chase.
Come on, girl, you can do this.
This is really important to me. Come on.
I think he could be the one.
Come on, girls, let's get going.
Push! Push!
Push, push!
Push! Push! Push!
- Push! - Push!
That's him. I see him!
Jake! Jake!
Stop the boat!
Never mind.
Okay, girl, here we go.
Jake!
Here she goes!
Jake.
What are you doing?
All right. Here we go. All the way up. Almost.
- Come on, girl. - Come on.
- Good girl, you can do it. - Here we go.
- Watch your paws there. - Easy, easy.
Cold. Cold. Very cold.
Here we go.
Thank you.
Was there something you wanted to say to me?
Yes.
Could have just called.
Perhaps that would have been the wiser course, yes.
What's up?
I owe you my story. You asked me for honesty...
...and it scared the hell out of me, and I held back...
...and I didn't want to let you see the real me.
Because I was afraid of getting hurt again.
But, listen, I hear that the universe lets your heart expand...
...and grow back even bigger after you go through all that pain.
Well, I believe that now.
And I was just wishing there was a way that...
...I could have another chance to make this work.
I'll be right with you.
Hi, how can I..?
Don't worry, I got it.
Single chicken breast, no dating advice, coming right up.
Actually, I would like to have three whole fryers, please.
And six pork chops and a lamb shank.
And do you have any dog bones back there?
If you do, throw them in the cart. What are the specials today?
Yes.
Thank you.
How many people are actually in this family?
- Hey. - Hey.
Get down.
Down!
How did we meet?
- Oh, that's a great story. Tell it, hon. - Great story.
Well, actually, it's a very romantic story.
- You tell it, Carol. - No, go ahead, honey.
No, no, really, you should. She tells this story great.
You don't remember, do you?
Don't remember? How we met?
I don't remember.
But I love her.
I love her!
Love is not reserved for the young, you know.
As the poet said:
Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be
- Yeats? - No.
- Tennyson? - No.
- Browning. - Browning.
Who knows her daddy?
Oh, my gosh, I did not think I was ready to settle down...
...but look at the size of this rock.
And you want to know what else? I'm gonna get a cute little tattoo...
...in someplace that's N- O-N of your business.
And wanna know what it's gonna say?
"Mrs. Casey Donovan. "
The best place to meet someone...
...is Parseghian's Armenian restaurant in Koreatown.
I don't care if you're young, you're old...
...you're single, you're divorced...
I'm getting there.
7100 First Street.
Wednesday, mother-in-law night.
All she can eat.
- In a dog park. - Dog park, yeah.
- It's true. - I know.
I was very... I was nervous.
We had no idea at the time that we could ever wind up...
Oh, that's not true. I did.
- You did not. - I did too.
- I have a theory about this. - He has lots of theories.
I do. This is actually a good one. I took some notes.
Oh, God, you're so prepared for this.
You grow up, you're an adult, right?
And you think you have all this worldly experience, right? That's point A.
You think your personality is formed.
And then you think you're complete...
...but you meet somebody, you start feeling new things.
And you start feeling excruciatingly painful things.
You get confused, right? You get nauseous.
And I think when you get really nauseous, like that, it's, like, the completion of self.
The person who can fill the final void.
That's what it was like when I met Sarah.
- I made you nauseous. - In a good way. I was lovesick.
That was good, honey.